Posts Tagged ‘childrens wellbeing’
Good Enough Parenting: 3 Ways to Support your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing Without Being Perfect
Good Enough Parenting: 3 Ways to Support your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing Without Being Perfect
Children’s Mental Health Week can stir up a lot for parents. It can bring pride, love, and deep care, but also quiet questions that creep in during the busy, messy moments of everyday life:
- Am I doing enough?
- Have I been patient enough?
- Did I handle that well?
If you’ve felt more emotional or reflective than usual about your child lately, you’re not alone.
CHILDRENS THERAPY
Our children’s therapy services support children around the Shoreham-by-sea area who struggle with emotional regulation, big feelings, shutdowns, anxiety, or behaviour that feels hard to understand.
What is “good enough” parenting?
The paediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott introduced the idea of the “good enough” parent. Not the perfect parent. Not the endlessly patient, never snappy, always available parent. But a parent who is human and emotionally present enough for their child to feel safe and secure.
Winnicott believed that children don’t benefit from perfection. In fact, small, manageable frustrations, not always getting what they want, and learning that others have needs too, help children build resilience, independence, and emotional strength.
Being “good enough” means:
- Showing up most of the time
- Repairing things when they go wrong
- Letting children experience life’s bumps while knowing they are loved
But real life is more complicated than theory.
When life feels like too much
What happens when the frustrations children face aren’t just small, manageable ones?
What about when parents are exhausted, stretched, or overwhelmed themselves?
Children don’t just need limits and learning experiences; they also need unconditional positive regard. They need to feel that even when their behaviour is loud, withdrawn, or challenging, the relationship underneath is safe.
That’s hard to offer consistently when you’ve:
- Had a draining day at work
- Snapped at someone you didn’t mean to
- Been running on too little sleep
- Walked home in the rain
There is no guidebook for parenting in those moments. No script for how to stay calm when you feel anything but. And yet, those are often the exact moments children need us to help them make sense of their big feelings.
1. Model imperfection and repair
One of the most powerful things a parent can say is:
“I got that wrong, I’m sorry.”
When you lose patience or misread a situation, repairing the moment teaches children that relationships can bend without breaking. It shows them that mistakes don’t mean disconnection. That’s a core part of “good enough” parenting.
“Being there” changes as children grow
When children are small, being present can feel more straightforward. You’re physically there to comfort, distract, and soothe. As they get older, things shift.
They spend more time alone. Their social world gets bigger. Pressures increase, including friendships, school expectations, and the online world. They are left to regulate themselves without you right beside them.
That can be scary for parents. You can’t step in every time to protect them from every disappointment or conflict. While it’s natural to want to remove every obstacle from your child’s path, constantly managing all their stress can make it harder for them to develop the confidence and emotional tools they’ll need later on.
Children don’t just need problems solved for them. They need support to understand their feelings.
2. Name feelings (even when you can’t fix them)
When children are overwhelmed, they don’t always need solutions straight away. They need help making sense of what’s happening inside.
You might say:
- “It sounds like today felt really lonely.”
- “I can see how frustrated you are.”
- “That must have felt embarrassing.”
Naming emotions helps children learn that feelings are manageable, not something to hide or fear.
You’re carrying a lot, your child might be too…
Many parents right now are juggling more than ever. The constant sense of needing to be in two places at once is undoubtedly creating a lot of stress and pressure at home.
Even when you try to shield your child from it, they often pick up on the emotional atmosphere. Some children become louder and more demanding. Others go quiet and try to be “easy.” Both can be signs they’re carrying feelings they don’t yet have the words for.
Feeling like you’re not doing enough doesn’t mean you’re failing. Often, it means you care deeply and are trying to hold everything together.
But you don’t have to do that alone.
3. Let them be challenged with you nearby
It’s natural to want to remove stress from your child’s life. But manageable challenges are how children build resilience.
Instead of stepping in immediately, try:
- Encouraging them to think of one thing they could try
- Reminding them of a time they coped before
- Letting them know you’re there if they need help
This builds confidence while keeping the safety net of your support.
Many parents right now are juggling more than ever. The constant sense of needing to be in two places at once is undoubtedly creating a lot of stress and pressure at home.
Even when you try to shield your child from it, they often pick up on the emotional atmosphere. Some children become louder and more demanding. Others go quiet and try to be “easy.” Both can be signs they’re carrying feelings they don’t yet have the words for.
Feeling like you’re not doing enough doesn’t mean you’re failing. Often, it means you care deeply and are trying to hold everything together.
But you don’t have to do that alone.
CHILDRENS THERAPY
Our children’s therapy services support children around the Shoreham-by-sea area who struggle with emotional regulation, big feelings, shutdowns, anxiety, or behaviour that feels hard to understand.